My IPL Blog

Hi guys, I haven't written in a while but want to keep u up to date as to what I'm ranting about lately. My first rant has to do with, of coure, the IPL. Before the league began, I was full of jubilation, teams of cricket all stars that would help propel cricket into a mainstream sport worldwide. Names like kallis, Gibbs, Afridi, Tendulkar, that would help the sport gain worldwide fame and entertain the masses in the process.

Well, shit hit the fan. My adopted favorite team, The Deccan Chargers, fell flat on their face in the tournament, embarrasing performances which I think I could top to be completely honest here. As a proud Pakistani, I have witnessed embarrasing performances from Salmon Ass, Shahid Afridi "Kuch Karega", and Misbah "I wish I was Inzamam" Ul-Haq. Let's take a moment to thank bowlers Umar Gul, Shoaib Akhtar, and Sohail Tanvir for restoring our pride, and reminding the world where the most talented bowlers come from.

But back to the Chargers, how the fuck can a team perform so badly? Afridi fell flat on his face, not doing jackshit in the entire tournament. His bowling doesnt make up for anything, and if that's the only reason he represents any team nowadays, put him at number 11 so that he can't hinder a team's innings. Gibbs, one of my favorite players, has showed us why South Africa have given up on him. Styris, shoudln't have even been drafted in the first place, the guy has never shown much value with the bat, and his medium pacers are not particularly threatening to anyone. And of course, we have our sri lankans, Chaminda Vaas "Deferens", and Nuwan Zoysa. Zoysa maybe can strike fear in the batsment based alone on his face, and Vaas should work on his english since he won't be busy playing in the IPL next season.

Perhaps we need to look at positive. The Indians, such as Rao, Sharma, ravi teja, vinjay kumar have all performed above and beyond expectations. They were the backbone of this team that prevented them from crashing to 70 or 80 all out. 2-3 of those players will represent the national team, no doubt about it. Gilly was also outstanding throughout the tournament, but his partners' instability caused him to try to play too many shots, resulting in some batting failures. I strongly believe to improve this team, we have to get James Marshall or Jamie How, either player would benefit this team in a strong way. Afridi, Vaas, Zoysa, Styris should be given the money of the remainder of their contract and be released, which I think is expected anyways. Gibbs should be given another chance. We should also get Fidel Edwards or Jerome Taylor, these bowlers are vastly underrated and would definetely strengthen the team, I'm shocked these guys weren't drafted either. here's my 09 team:

1. Gilly
2. I like Rhoti and Shorma
3. Venugopal Rao "Iftikhar Injum"
4. Andrew "don't call me Gene" Symonds
5. James Marshall/Jamie How
6. Ravi Teja "Mahal"
7. Fidel Edwards
8. Vijay Kumar
9. "Pregnant" Ohja
10. RP Singh
11. Kalyankrishna

Notes: Ravi Teja has the ability to save a team ala Michael Bevan. I like him at number 6.

What goes around comes around

Oh what a sweet feeling it is to watch the Pats go down in the only game that mattered! Nobody will remember this team 5 years from now, and this season is essentially meaningless. Were they the greatest team ever assembled? No, I don't think so, because they didn't win the big one, and secondly, because they had no class in winning. Constantly week after week, Belibitch ran up the score on hapless, overmatched opponents (yes that includes the Bills), scoring like they were USC playing Dartmouth. In college football, it's ok to run up the score, in fact, encouraged, as strength of schedule and margin of victory are key to climbing the BSC ladder. But in the NFL, not so much.
Now, the fact that the Pats were able to run up the score, in itself is amazing. Their linebacking and safety core, probably juiced, are in their late 30's and probably wouldn't make many NFL rosters. That includes Bruschi, Harrison, Vrabel, etc. Now that's absurd, ur saying, THEY WENT 18-0! Yes, but you have to realize that teams had no idea how to prepare for the Patriots and their monster offense this season, but later in the season we finally saw blueprints by the Ravens, Eagles, Giants, and Giants again, this time succesfully, on how to beat their video game system. The Patriots rely on the short passing game, with Welker and Benjamin Watson key in picking up those quick routes and short gaines. The fact that Wes Welker had more receptions than anyone this year, by a wide margin, despite falling well short in total yards (compared to Moss, Chad Johnson, T.O.), shows you how effective he was, and no team could match up with him, including the Giants, who won on hard defense and a little luck. Welker, in my opinion, is the MVP of the Patriots, not Brady, not Moss. Besides the quick routes, Brady's only other real threat was Randy Moss, who tore up defenders left and right on a weekly basis, but really just by sheer talent, as Brady's passes were always long and deep (get your mind out of the gutter) to Moss, in which Randy just jumped up and got it over mediocre corners. Moss is the best wideout in the league, better than T.O., and Brady is the best QB in the league, better than both Mannings. But the fact is The Patriots won based on their Offensive Line, which I believe is the best in history. The O-line gave Tom the time to double pump for those long passes, and time to scan the field for 20 minutes before finding Welker down the middle. I don't believe this is the best offense ever, just the best executed (Belibitch, despite being a horrible human, is a first ballot hall of famer), as the Jim Kelly Bills had a good one with Thomas and Reed, as did dozens of other teams, but the Patriots were very lucky this season to remain perfect, ironic as the Giants were lucky to outlast them in the superbowl! But their defense lost them the superbowl, as despite an all pro secondary with Asante Samuel and Ellis Hobbs, they really don't have much else to offer.
While I will always hate the Pats, it is refreshing that they were very humbled by the loss, and mature about it. If Tom Brady was playing on any other team, I would probably by a ticket to see him play, and this Patriot team is definetely one of the best in history, despite losing the big one. But I am very happy for the Giants, and Micheal Strahan, who has waited for this for a long time. Sooo, where does all of this talk lead me? Well, first of all, I think for my Bills to compete with the Pats next season, we need to draft a stud wideout to support Evans, add a playmaking tight end (funny how much sexuality is in football lingo), add a Defensive End to replace the dissapointing and indisciplined core we have, and allow Edwards to grasp the system and I have NO DOUBT we will make the playoffs, while probably not as the AFC east championship, as the Pats will own that for a cppl more years, but as a wild card.

Too little Parody in the NFL

Ok, so I was watching my Bills get annihalated by the Pats, and I was thinking to myself, "How embarrased must the league be to be showcasing this game on national tv? Is this really the sort of product the league wants to display?" Now first of all, I think what the Pats are doing is great. But is it great for the league? Absolutely not! Sure it's great for the New Englanders, and their bandwagon fanbase around the world, but the rest of us hate the patriots, and as Tom Brady used to be the lovable role model he was back in the early millenium, now he is just as despised as the rest of them.
So where am I going with all of this? Well, I think that the NFL should adopt the same policy as England's Premier League, with there being a two tier system, and thus there should be a minor league system as well. I'm not talking about the shitty NFL Europe, because we all saw where that went, what I am saying is that there should be a minor league NFL in the country, around such places as Lansing, L.A., San Jose, etc. Hell, maybe the arena league could just become the NFL minor leagues and we could go from there. I think it's a necessity now, because nobody wants to see losing teams getting embarrased, and nobody wants to see losing teams playing other losing teams. This should be embarrasing for the NFL, because as I am watching the Cowboys blow out the Jets on Thanksgiving, it's apparent something needs to be done to maintain a national fan base. Just look at what baseball did with the wild card, now alot of cities are interested 'till the death. Upsets in football are very random, and not very frequent, so I think it's now time to establish not only a minor league system, but a two-tier system. Winning clubs will only play winning clubs, and the bad clubs will only play the bad clubs. Of course, since there are 32 clubs in the NFL, divide it in half. The two worst teams from the previous seasons will be sent to the minors, with the two top teams in the minors being sent to the NFL. Thus garbage teams like the dolphins and rams would thankfully no longer be on tv. The NFL Draft would still occur, only the relegated teams would not be a part of it obviously. This is how you make bad teams have motivation, because other wise the failed system in which they just keep losing till they get a #1 pick is ridiculous. However, the teams with the top 16 picks will be part of the second tier, and the remaining teams will be part of the top tier.

1. The teams with the first 16 picks will only play each other in the regular season, the amount of games and weeks will be the same. The leagues and divisions will be abolished, and the top 3 teams from each tier will advance into the playoffs. Now it gets interesting..

2. Suppose from the Top tier, which remember is the top 16 teams, the #1 Patriots, #2 Colts, #3 Bills( I know, wishful thinking) advance to the playoffs. Well, Since the Pats are the top team, they get a first round bye.

3. From the Second tier, suppose the #1 Bucs, #2 Seahawks, #3 Vikings, with the Bucs getting a bye, then

a) The two #3's, the Vikings and Bills will play each other, but home field will not automatically be rewarded to the Bills, even though they played in a harder tier. Rather the tiebreaking procedures of the current NFL will remain the same, only obviously the rules regarding conferences and divisions will be out because they will not exist. Football is in a new millenium, thus we don't need divisions and conferences anymore, and it would be hard to maintain if 1 team is relegated from a division anyways.

b) The Vikings and the Bills will play each other at the Ralph, after it was determined Buffalo won the tiebreaker. Bills win!

c) The #2 Colts will play aginst the #2 Hawks at the RCA, with the Colts winning.

d) so now, we will say the the team with the better record, regardless of tier, will play at home. So the Bills will play the Bucs, because the Bucs had a better record than the Bills in the regular season, even if they played easier teams. That makes the Second Tier's regular season interesting! So say the Bills beat the Bucs at Tampa, and the Patriots demolish the Colts at home, so the Superbowl will be the Bills and Patriots. The Super Bowl will still be played in a neutral venue, and the pro bowl will still be after the super bowl.

I think this is a great idea because the league needs change because football has changed, and interest must be maintained because alot of teams are getting tv blackouts because people dont wanna see bad matchups. There u go nfl

The future for students

Hey all, haven't been on in a while, but I'm here to talk to you about the sad trend, or un-sad trend (depending on ur outlook on it), of Ivy League Acceptance rates. First let me start off by saying that I am in no way bitter of the way their admission committee's treat their prospective students like robots, but rather just appaled by how hypocritical our society has become regarding a "good school". As parents, we all want to send our kids to the cream of the crop, but now good grades aren't any sort of assurance or guarantee that our kids will go there. As of right now, about 12-13% is the average acceptance rate for good schools such as Brown, Stanford(which might actually be more like 11%), and Cornell. Just for shits and giggles, I decided to blog about what a future, let's say the year 2015, might say.



Dear Student:

We are so pleased that you are considering to apply to the University of the Impossible! Each year thousands of students matriculate through our many world class colleges, and they all agree that the experience and knowledge they gained here, helped them immenseley in their future careers! In fact, you can read testimonials of current students who did interviews for prospective students, just like you! So what's it like at the University of the Impossible? Well that's a hard question, as many of our students have differing perspectives on the everyday life, as our students are from all over the world, and such diversity adds to the perspectives of many. Our world class teachers have been in school since they were taken out of their mother's womb, taking calculus at an average age of 12. So as a result of such devotion, they relate to students just as much as students relate to them!

Requirements:

This is a very tough question to answer, as each semester we recieve thousands of applicants who have perfect transcripts, with no blemishes whatsoever! In fact, of the 100,000 applicants we receieve each year, roughly half have G.P.A.'s over 4.0, with SAT Scores averaging 2400. Since we have spaces for only 1,000 students, that makes our admission rate "1%". Though we would never boast about our competiveness, secretly we love rejecting students with perfect records, as it makes us feel better inside about ourselves, as to how much power we have, and we laugh at how alot of these kids spend their whole lives behind books, and it all usually leads to a state college with a bunch of alcoholics and druggies. At the University of the Impossible, we pride ourselves on how impossible it is to get in this university, and yet how many people continue to think they have a chance to win the lottery. Unfortunately, if you don't have money or over-zealous parents, you will not attend this institution, and should therefore not set your goals very high. We aren't in the age where we can go to a good school with just good grades, you need to be in every club invented, while inventing some on the way, you need to be an athlete and excel in every sport you play in, and you also need to have a part time job on the side so we know you are motivated. Obviously, getting perfect grades isn't always easy with all of these responsibilities, but our students have accomplished all of this, on top of helping their neighbors take out the trash!


Obviously, they would not write probably any of this stuff in the real thing, but I can guess that in the future, Ivy League and Private Schools will not take any applicants with less than a 4.0 GPA, as ludicrous as that sounds, they do need to weed people out, and the only way to weed them out is to make the standards perfect, because isn't that what they're looking for in the end? Yes.

"Black"

This term is, of course, often described to the skin color of people with African descent. But in the present, it is a term used more as an excuse. What I mean, is that unfortunately blacks have been through alot in this society, so much so they have their own organization, and as a result we have policies in place so that racism can be prevented, like affirmative action. But what happens when black people start to use their race as an excuse? For instance, the often outspoken Eagles QB Donovan McNabb, recently came out with his latest impersonation of Martin Luther King. He claims that black quarterbacks have it hard in the NFL, in that they have to do "that much more" to prove they belong in the NFL at the QB position. He claims they are scrutinized more than their white counterparts.
Good stuff. Only the problem is not all black quarterbacks agree with him. Two of them in fact stated that it doesn't matter what color you are, it has to do with performance. Which is where I must agree. If Peyton Manning or Tom Brady were on the DL as much as McNabb is, year after year, wouldn't they be scrutinized just as much? What exactly has McNabb done in his career to warrant praise? Yes, he has delivered division titles, but so have the Buffalo Bills, and nobody remembers Jim Kelly. McNabb, more than anything, sounds like a crybaby, and he is simply trying to divert attention so that we can focus on other things besides how much he sucks now. Period.
Outside of the South, which will always have racial problems, everyone else seems to have moved on. Our society hires based on performance, not color. If black people today face hardships, they should stop crying about racism, and just realize someone better, brown or orange, is better at their job, no matter what job it is. I'm sick and tired of black people like Donovan McNabb crying over the media criticism, and looking for the NAACP to step in. Get over yourself Donovan, you aren't that good anymore, and God forbid a white quarterback takes your job, oh my God call every Negro society in the country, that would be worse than the current situation in Louisiana. Grow up you washed up prick!

Greed

as you may or may not have noticed, this is a topic which i frequently talk about. It's probably the biggest problem with today's society, and seeing as how I constantly observe and analyze my surroundings, I would think it's only fair to give an objective viewpoint on this issue.

We must realize that it exists everywhere, not just in our surroundings. It's the underlying reason in which 99% if problems in this world occur, yet it's ignored more than any other topic in today's world. Why, because greed has become acceptable in today's world, more now than it ever has been. We spend more money than we earn, and while sometimes with good reason, nothing is ever enough for people these days, but society isn't raising minimum wage, and won't EVER cater to the average income family, which is fair, but creates a hectc lifestyle for our emerging families. For instance, more people everyday turn to low-class jobs such as stripping or adult film, just to pay off their student loans. And even more appalling, these industries are becoming more and more accepted by Americans, simply because we've grown up in a sex culture. Nothing is off limits anymore today, everything that could have happened has happened. For instance, has there ever been a worse summer for hollywood? Films are becoming a joke, with the same storylines used over and over again, the same dead-beat actors making millions doing nothing, and magazine spreads becoming so acceptable that we have a billion dollar industry in mags like Maxim, which un-coincidentally involve those same dead-beat actors.

But it all does eventually come back to greed, as actors are negotiating for more money than you, or child, and your child's child will make in your lifetime, on one movie. Athletes are holding out because they aren't getting paid 20 million dollars a year, and colleges are more and more becoming useless, albeit everyone should get an education. A depression will come, mind u, it's inevitable with today's economy, but I feel everyone needs limitations, because we must always have goals for ourselves that we strive for, and they mustn't always be economically motivated, as there are more important things in life than making money, we must make a difference in people's lives, and make the world a better place to live. Right now, I'd rather go to mars...

Too Virtual?

Imagine a world where parents, kids, work, didn't have to be that way. What if, we could all stay at home, all day and everyday, with no need to do anything constructive with our minds. I mean, there would obviously be sports, with those 1 in a million kids striving to earn millions of dollars, but I mean other than that, student/teacher relationships wouldn't exist, cars would have low mileage, and ratings would be at an all time high. What am I talking about, u ask? I'm talking about a virtual world.



We're getting there. College classes no longer need regular attendance, you don't need to socialize or meet people, you can do all that on this machine! What about work? Well, online jobs are becoming increasingly popular amongst the old folk, so why can't the younger generation be self-employed, earning money without getting up? I mean, it's such a novelist idea, why actually get up off of that chair and walk, risking serious injury or future ones, when you can lock yourself up in a confined area and not ever risk blisters, or papercuts!



What can't the computer do these days? Are we at the risk of breaking off as a society? Well we're already there. Whatever unifies us these days, are things that are all over the internet. We shop, play, socialize, and spend far too much time a week on this machine. Before you start to ask the consquences, besides carpal tunnel syndrome, and severe eye strain, think of the consequences of limitations, of spending your entire life behind a screen. Now, the federal government gives us limitations. The law gives us limitations. But we must fight the unjust rules in todays world, not hide from them. We shouldn't hide from the world.